John 17:20-21New International Version (NIV)
Jesus Prays for All Believers

20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

John 8:15

You judge by human standards; I judge no one.

1 Corinthians 2:11New International Version (NIV)

11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.

Ephesians 4:26

Be angry, but do not sin.

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 18:15New International Version (NIV)
Dealing With Sin in the Church

15 “If your brother or sister[a] sins,[b] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

James 1:19

My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get angry.

Luke 6:31

Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

Some observations about relational conflict:

1. Being right is overrated
2. It’s helpful to remember that I can not read minds.
3. This fight isn’t about what I think it’s about.
4. Changing their behavior has less upside than I think.
5. My emotions in the fight are crucial and untrustworthy.

What should I do if I find myself in a conflict with someone?

1. Neither vent nor withdraw but deal with it.
2. Lead with questions and feelings not pronouncements
3. Assume the best of my adversary and treat them well.